We are not responsible for the actions, words and behaviours of others. This we all know on a conscious level but what the majority are not aware of, usually due to denial, are just how much those things do in fact impact our own feelings about and behaviours towards, ourselves.

It occurred to me, at me 4am awakening, that literally almost everything I dislike about myself or beat my self down for, can be linked to the careless or cruel words of others. I consciously think those things about me, leading of course to action and behaviour, because unconsciously someone else has done something to install that defect.

Allow me to share some examples.

I hate the fact I am currently unemployed as a result of disability. I believe this makes me a failure and that my boyfriend resents me and that society wants me dead because that’s cheaper than taxes.

What installed this programme of thinking? The media, with their constant war on fraudulent disability benefit claimants. We, the sick and frail, must all be lying because some of us can walk to the bathroom, right?

I despise that I only live in a 1 bedroom council flat. I think it means I am lower class scum who society has written off as ‘no potential’ and I must own my home to be worthy of respect from strangers and governments.

What installed that programme of thinking? My boyfriend and the fact he, despite the fact we are about to decorate a new flat, is still so focused on saving for a 2 bedroom house that he makes me feel bad every time I try and spend some money on the current home.

I can’t stand my teeth. I cover my mouth when I laugh and attempt to speak without smiling or opening my mouth too much. They define my entire being as ugly and revolting and no one likes me because of it.

What installed that programme of thinking? Other children when I was a child myself. They bullied me. I was aware of them, hyper aware actually, I didn’t need telling.

I could go on all day like this. I think I am fat because magazines, I think everyone is laughing at me because I have heard people make comments about others and I hate the fact I don’t give a crap about being feminine because society deems me boyish.

Literally all my negative states of thinking are the result of someone’s else’s inability to hold their tongue or someone else’s need to be horrid, in order to smooth over the bumps in their own bruised ego.

Ask yourself today, how many negative thoughts do you have about yourself, others or whole sections of society. Do you really have original thoughts? How conditioned are you really? Where’s the root of that belief? With your parents, Facebook, Vougue or gossiping playground mothers perhaps?

For some of you, you’ll deny being effected because you are highly spiritual beings without ego (HA HA HA) and for others, this will be a thought provoking process that leads you to a better state of self realisation; providing you platform for a better sense of self.

3 thoughts on “We are all programmed people with potential

  1. This was like you were inside my own mind explaining much of it for those who I just cannot explain it to. I wish people would think before they speak, because, much as I try not to, every single word is taken to heart and is just more proof of what is wrong, what is defective, what needs to be hidden, what is unworthy. It has been quiet/manageable for some time, but has become a steady drumbeat in recent months again.

    Thank you, be well, stay safe. I know whereof you speak and where you are at, it’s a familiar place for me. Got your back from across the pond. πŸ’™πŸ’™

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  2. I’ve never thought about it like that I know some of my own problems came from others but just blamed myself for the rest but now I think about it ur right Society is or can be very cruel to the individual. What you have written here will stay with my thoughts for a long time. Thank you xx

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