This blog was never about me wanting attention or crying out for help.
It’s suppose to be a place where I speak openly in order to educate people on what daily life is like for the sufferer of illnesses like mine and a place to raise awareness, in an age where doctors, let alone the everyday person, have no idea what a life long illness is actually like to live with.
I make YouTube videos for the same purpose. It is about showing others they are not alone and it is ok to raise your voice. Yet it seems I cannot speak the raw truth without someone making it out to be a problem.
A few days ago I wrote a blog post called ‘we are all programmed people with potential,’ perhaps your recall it? Anyway a friend later said ‘I read it and I worry about you.’ I was so irked by this I failed to reply. I mean, the title alone ends on a positive.
It was a post about how we as humans are conditioned by the world around us. I used some personal examples of how other people can impact my way of thinking, none of them dramatic or cause for concern, they were just additives to rise the stirrings of thought within the reader.
It was discussing a well known psychological process we ALL adhere to; social conditioning. It was aiming to encourage people to be mindful of how they speak to others and to reflect on their own self. Yet this person made it about me being a potential problem.
It seems to me, that the majority of people would rather point the finger than go inwards. A perfect sign of why everyone around me should try some therapy or a course in psychology. Because it seems to me that I am the only one cable of saying anything that is real and the only one aware of my own crappy behaviours, thoughts and feelings. It also feels like I see others for what they are before they do. Maybe therapy taught me a little too much hey.
Maybe he had the issue. Maybe he can’t self reflect so he brushes his concerns onto another. Maybe he lacks the academic thought procedure to understand basic psychological discussion. Maybe he had no idea why saying such a thing would unlink me from the bonds we share.
This used to happen on Facebook a lot. For those who don’t know, I am currently on a 99 days Facebook free challenge. If you are interested in reading that progress blog please find the link at the bottom.
Anyway, I would often post something, not always written either, and someone, who seemingly didn’t know me or understand me at all, would message saying they think I am unwell, do I need help, etc. It hurts to not be able to be yourself without the people around you perceiving it as your mental illness. That nasty label keeps me stuck in a bad place in other people’s perceptions.
Funny how they perceive everything I say, negatively. I think this says a lot about their mindset and their view of me. It’s all on them, not me and I figured that out a while ago and I have dealt with their negativity a lot better ever since. I’m not the issue 98% of the time; it’s them!
The point is here, how often does your mindset or your attitude towards a person, turn out to be YOU in a bad place? Why do you think expression is a sign of sickness? Is it because you are afraid to speak the truth? Or is it a sickness to say what’s on your mind to the people who call themselves friend?