I had a good thing going for myself when I moved into my new home.

Despite all the stress I had managed to get into a small routine and install some hope into my heart for my future and then Dr Kershaw happened.

We take for granted the little things like writing on our blog and venting our feelings. We assume the 10 minutes breath meditation and the affirmations we speak are also a waste of time and do nothing for us. But that’s not true and you really don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.

The issue is, now I have let that little morning routine slide out of my grasp, I am struggling to get back to it because my depression has deepened dramatically.

Dr Kershaw left me paranoid, full of self loathing and lacking any self worth. I deleted most of my social media and set this blog to private for fear of being spied on and judged because of what he said to me.

I felt like all my hard work was in vain and not worth noting, all because he couldn’t see anything positive in me and all I do.

He has stripped me of my power and left me struggling for life in the gutter where my once thriving ambitions now lay.

How do I return from this war when the person who sent me out to fight won’t let me stand down? How do I alone take a different stand and walk away? How do I escape  the self made hell he encouraged me to indulge in?