I am a 32 year old female from England.
I live with my cat in a quiet and friendly area, where many birds nest and many dogs walk. It is a serene paradise and I love nothing more than sitting in my garden enjoying the sounds of the birds.
I have a partner. He is the love, light and saviour of my life. He has stood steadfast as he has watched me lose my life to my illnesses. He is unwavering in his faith and love and I wish I could be more for him. We are engaged to be married in 2021.
I am ambitious, passionate, compassionate and motivated to be better than I was yesterday but I am also surprisingly anxious, unable to be consistent and far to raw for many people. I am a paradox from tip to toe. My mind is driven to accomplish a great many things. My Aries traits are firmly gritted into the grooves of my brain but my body, oh my poor body. It is more of a half hearted Pisces. It’s like a fish out of water, just laying there gasping for life but too goddamn distressed by its situation to pitch itself back into the ocean.
I used to enjoy weight lifting, running, long walks alone around the woods, drinks on a Sunday and chocolate fudge cake. Now I enjoy watching the trees change colour through my window, taking walks when body permits it and numerous Netflix shows.
I am often sad. I often burst into tears at the inconvenient and downright rude intrusion this illness as impeded on my life.
I run out of waiting rooms like a greyhound long disciplined and I avoid others like I now avoid dairy, caffeine and well meaning ‘have you tried a yoga juice fast’ diagnostic darlings.
I am infuriatingly optimistic. I truly believe I will cure myself because I am a miracle.
I like options. That’s why I am an omniest.
If I had to sum myself up in one sentence I’d like splutter out just a few short words that I only half believe because I know nothing about who I really am.
No two days are the same and no day is predictable and that makes functioning with my symptoms very hard at times.
I am now diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, EUPD, dissociative seizures (NEAD) alongside FND and C-PTSD.