Routine and realisations (The morning journals)

I had a good thing going for myself when I moved into my new home. Despite all the stress I had managed to get into a small routine and install some hope into my heart for my future and then Dr Kershaw happened. We take for granted the little things like writing on our blog…

Gratitude and God (The morning journals)

Every morning I go to my meditation space, or sometimes I stay in bed, and I pray. I'm so vulnerably human when I pray. I always start by giving a basic thanks and then I ramble relentlessly about how stressed I am and about how much I need things to change without any further effort…

Is it me or is it she, anxiety bi**h

It almost feels pointless writing in here now. Nobody sees it. I write to inspire, educate and comfort others, more than for myself. I have set my site to private due to fear that Dr Kershaw is spying on me and critiquing my every word, move and thought. He has truly unhinged my safe screw…

I’ve been away from myself (a morning journal)

I've not been writing in my journal or updating this blog since the altercation with the psych. It left me questioning myself and it left me in a pit of despair, scrambling to get out, bloody fingered and muscle worn. But I'm slowly beginning to see, sometimes 'professionals' judge us wrong. They insist they are…

When psych and neuro cross paths

It's been a while since I wrote. That psychiatrist has truly messed me up. He was cruel and pedantic and left me mind reeling with suicidal thoughts and deflated from hope. They often have this effect on me. I won't talk about the whole thing but I am appealing for a second opinion and making…

I am not a violent patient (The morning journals)

I am not yet ready to fully explain what happened with the psychiatrist last week. I am still confused about who I truly am and my purpose. I am deeply depressed and have only survived this weekend thanks to my partner and that burden should not fall onto his shoulders. But mostly I am hurt.…

Why don’t you hear me? (The morning journals)

Sometimes I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. Like, I monitor myself constantly to the point of pestering myself but all those times I turned a negative to a positive appear to make no difference and I have reached the wrong conclusion about myself. I'm not changing. I'm not healing or anywhere near ready to…