This world does not accommodate me

People don't understand the full crippling effects of mental illness until it's them and most people claim to have depression and anxiety, because they felt down once, but fail to note that not everyone is cured after a visit to the GP and some Fuloxotine.

Fat, fake and feeling unsettled (The morning journals)

I'm groggy today. My head feels as though brick dust is swooshing side to side against my skull and dripping into my blood stream bit by bit, building up, until I am a house of exhaustion. I'm a bit down on my body at the moment. Yesterday my Nan said I looked pregnant (bare in…

Dissociation & Grey areas (The morning journals)

I'm having my hair coloured today but out of the blue I have decided to have a dramatic cut. This may not seem like a drama based idea to many but for someone with strong emotional flares and personality alterations, it could be disastrous in a few days. You see, I'm prone to changes of…

What is a disability?

Functional neurological disorder is unstable. It knows not what it wants from life and has no idea where it is going and when. It is disorganised, chaotic and cruel and I am not these things. We are a paradox sharing a body. I guess that's what makes this disability such an intense lesson for me,…

Back to therapy (the morning journals)

Today is the day I return to therapy. It also signifies the day I start putting my morning pages onto my blog instead of into a notebook. I feel like an utter failure for needing to return to therapy, especially after just a few short months. I resent the fact I may well play the…

The problem with train tracks

As many regular readers know, I have recently relocated. I am slowly finding my way about the neighbourhood on days I am able to take shirt walks and today I focused on taking a bit of exercise by finding the shortcut to town. I found it. It cuts my previous journey in more than half…