How to get what you want (a morning journal)

One thing that has enabled me to alter my life and stay positive in times of hardship is Law of Attraction! Discovering 'the secret' and bought me much positivity and my miracle manifestations have revealed themselves yet again just yesterday. I took a chance, because if you don't ask; you don't know, and my chance…

Why don’t you hear me? (The morning journals)

Sometimes I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. Like, I monitor myself constantly to the point of pestering myself but all those times I turned a negative to a positive appear to make no difference and I have reached the wrong conclusion about myself. I'm not changing. I'm not healing or anywhere near ready to…

Disability is a loss and we are allowed to be sad

I often find myself lacking motivation. I never used to be this way. I was always motivated to go to the gym, go on a run, take a bus out of town to the woods, walk to see my friends, go to the pub and get up for college and work. You see what I…

Fat, fake and feeling unsettled (The morning journals)

I'm groggy today. My head feels as though brick dust is swooshing side to side against my skull and dripping into my blood stream bit by bit, building up, until I am a house of exhaustion. I'm a bit down on my body at the moment. Yesterday my Nan said I looked pregnant (bare in…

What is a disability?

Functional neurological disorder is unstable. It knows not what it wants from life and has no idea where it is going and when. It is disorganised, chaotic and cruel and I am not these things. We are a paradox sharing a body. I guess that's what makes this disability such an intense lesson for me,…

3 Things I hate about my life & 3 things I love

We all live in a polarity. Good and bad things happen to us, although sometimes, especially with a disability, it can be hard to acknowledge any good. Today I want to do a little mix of a 'get it off my chest' and some gratitude. Gratitude is important and practicing this each morning has certainly…

The day after the day before (The morning journals)

So how do I feel post return to therapy? Well I am tired, I'm setting my jaw, my eyes feel almost slit like in an evil way, I'm irritable and I still ache. Are the two linked? Maybe or maybe I'm like this due to all the pain I am in. On a positive note…