This world does not accommodate me

People don't understand the full crippling effects of mental illness until it's them and most people claim to have depression and anxiety, because they felt down once, but fail to note that not everyone is cured after a visit to the GP and some Fuloxotine.

I’ve made a huge mistake and I want to die

I can't do this anymore. I can't do what I was doing forever. So you see, I have nowhere to run and this point. I'm all out of road to run and hills to hop. I'm stuck, once again, at a crossroads but I'm pretty sure all roads lead to a big drop with nothing but concrete at the bottom.


I am a tiny city of immigrants (a morning journal)

Parts of me feel unreal or like they are simmering out of my existence. It's like I am losing little fragments of who I am. I grasp at them through the hazy cloud but I grab nothing but empty space, leaving me to question whether I was ever there at all or if I am…

The return of the morning journals

So I'm back to writing the morning journals again. Good! I deserve to express myself and write down my feelings without fear of what the world thinks because one shitty doctor took advantage of my trust. It has helped me to heal myself and understand my confusing thoughts. Many revelations come from this process. I…

Is it me or is it she, anxiety bi**h

It almost feels pointless writing in here now. Nobody sees it. I write to inspire, educate and comfort others, more than for myself. I have set my site to private due to fear that Dr Kershaw is spying on me and critiquing my every word, move and thought. He has truly unhinged my safe screw…

I am not a violent patient (The morning journals)

I am not yet ready to fully explain what happened with the psychiatrist last week. I am still confused about who I truly am and my purpose. I am deeply depressed and have only survived this weekend thanks to my partner and that burden should not fall onto his shoulders. But mostly I am hurt.…

Why don’t you hear me? (The morning journals)

Sometimes I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. Like, I monitor myself constantly to the point of pestering myself but all those times I turned a negative to a positive appear to make no difference and I have reached the wrong conclusion about myself. I'm not changing. I'm not healing or anywhere near ready to…