Day 2: 20 facts about you

1) I have a habit of inconsistency which is why I'm a day late for day number 2 haha 2) I've never seen Game of Thrones and have no desire to do so! 3) I saw my first psychologist age 4 because my parents were fed up of me not sleeping through the night and…

Is it me or is it she, anxiety bi**h

It almost feels pointless writing in here now. Nobody sees it. I write to inspire, educate and comfort others, more than for myself. I have set my site to private due to fear that Dr Kershaw is spying on me and critiquing my every word, move and thought. He has truly unhinged my safe screw…

Why don’t you hear me? (The morning journals)

Sometimes I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. Like, I monitor myself constantly to the point of pestering myself but all those times I turned a negative to a positive appear to make no difference and I have reached the wrong conclusion about myself. I'm not changing. I'm not healing or anywhere near ready to…

Dissociation & Grey areas (The morning journals)

I'm having my hair coloured today but out of the blue I have decided to have a dramatic cut. This may not seem like a drama based idea to many but for someone with strong emotional flares and personality alterations, it could be disastrous in a few days. You see, I'm prone to changes of…

What is a disability?

Functional neurological disorder is unstable. It knows not what it wants from life and has no idea where it is going and when. It is disorganised, chaotic and cruel and I am not these things. We are a paradox sharing a body. I guess that's what makes this disability such an intense lesson for me,…

I need to vent (The morning journals)

I lost it yesterday. I got angry, I said stuff and made some mistakes to try and distract myself from my emotions. But I also stood up for myself and said 'you know what, no, respect me or walk on by!' I'm still pissed off but I'm not allowed to be and now I feel…

The fear of people (The morning journals)

I'm seemingly falling into a routine in the morning, which is something I crave a great deal. I could never do that in my old home. I'd wake feeling heavy and depressed and would struggle to get up at all. It was like my energy was being sucked down into the neighbours house below me…