Blogs evolve with their people

Wow! This blog has laid long forgotten in the back of my mind. It is not because I am well. It is simply a product of my lack of consistency and ever changing lifestyle. So much has altered for me at such a swift pace these last few months, I think I have tangled myself…

Who owns you?

We all question ourselves. We all have doubts as much as we have hopes and dreams. Sometimes the question is as simple as 'what shall I wear?' Or it can be a little more complex, with questions like "am I ready to apply for that job?" Trauma and products of (ex anxiety) can make answering…

The return of the morning journals

So I'm back to writing the morning journals again. Good! I deserve to express myself and write down my feelings without fear of what the world thinks because one shitty doctor took advantage of my trust. It has helped me to heal myself and understand my confusing thoughts. Many revelations come from this process. I…

Fat, fake and feeling unsettled (The morning journals)

I'm groggy today. My head feels as though brick dust is swooshing side to side against my skull and dripping into my blood stream bit by bit, building up, until I am a house of exhaustion. I'm a bit down on my body at the moment. Yesterday my Nan said I looked pregnant (bare in…

The fear of people (The morning journals)

I'm seemingly falling into a routine in the morning, which is something I crave a great deal. I could never do that in my old home. I'd wake feeling heavy and depressed and would struggle to get up at all. It was like my energy was being sucked down into the neighbours house below me…

Dreams and trauma (The morning journals)

I have hardly slept the last 2 nights thanks to my cat. My dreams are odd to say the least and my body and mind are suffering the consequences of this disturbed sleep. The other night I dreamt that I lived in a nunnery and someone stole my knickers off the washing line. I kept…

The day after the day before (The morning journals)

So how do I feel post return to therapy? Well I am tired, I'm setting my jaw, my eyes feel almost slit like in an evil way, I'm irritable and I still ache. Are the two linked? Maybe or maybe I'm like this due to all the pain I am in. On a positive note…