This world does not accommodate me

People don't understand the full crippling effects of mental illness until it's them and most people claim to have depression and anxiety, because they felt down once, but fail to note that not everyone is cured after a visit to the GP and some Fuloxotine.

Who owns you?

We all question ourselves. We all have doubts as much as we have hopes and dreams. Sometimes the question is as simple as 'what shall I wear?' Or it can be a little more complex, with questions like "am I ready to apply for that job?" Trauma and products of (ex anxiety) can make answering…

*trigger warning* rape

We live in a world where the words 'rape culture' are seen frequently within social media platforms and for some it seems like some radical feminist related jargon but for some of us it's a harsh reality. I am experiencing first hand. Just yesterday I was victim to it. This is not the first time,…

Why don’t you hear me? (The morning journals)

Sometimes I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. Like, I monitor myself constantly to the point of pestering myself but all those times I turned a negative to a positive appear to make no difference and I have reached the wrong conclusion about myself. I'm not changing. I'm not healing or anywhere near ready to…

Disability is a loss and we are allowed to be sad

I often find myself lacking motivation. I never used to be this way. I was always motivated to go to the gym, go on a run, take a bus out of town to the woods, walk to see my friends, go to the pub and get up for college and work. You see what I…

Fat, fake and feeling unsettled (The morning journals)

I'm groggy today. My head feels as though brick dust is swooshing side to side against my skull and dripping into my blood stream bit by bit, building up, until I am a house of exhaustion. I'm a bit down on my body at the moment. Yesterday my Nan said I looked pregnant (bare in…

Dissociation & Grey areas (The morning journals)

I'm having my hair coloured today but out of the blue I have decided to have a dramatic cut. This may not seem like a drama based idea to many but for someone with strong emotional flares and personality alterations, it could be disastrous in a few days. You see, I'm prone to changes of…